Some of you may know Im a General Manager at an aftermarket automobile parts house, that said, its retail and DIY primarily.

Not long before we closed last night a gentlman walks in and says. "I purchased a moped awhile ago, and after 300 miles Im supposed to change all the oils"
I said, "Hey thats no problem, I have everything you need"
He said "I dont need anything, I purchased it all at Wal Mart"
I said "ok, how can I help you"
He said "What did I buy?"
I looked at him confused and said "What did you buy?"
He said, "Yeah, what did I buy"
I paused a moment and said "Sir Im not sure what you purchased, you bought it at Walmart"
He said, "OK, I appreciate it" and walked out of the store.

Wow
Ron

it almost makes me happy that I work the graveyard shift rather than during the day when the store is open - the extra money is what really pushes it over the edge for me .

When I wake up for a mid-night snack, sometimes I watch TruTV's Hard Core Pawn. It is about the day-to-day business about a pawn shop in Detroit. The show is nothing like History Channel's Pawn Stars, about a pawn shop in Las Vegas.

Anyway, the other night, a guy walks into the store and asks to pick up his "Free Diamond". Apparently, the store has a policy where a customer purchases a piece of gold jewery and the customer receives the diamond of his choice.

This guy demands his "Free Diamond" because that's exactly what the sign says -- "Free Diamond". This guy then starts uttering some of the most obscene language and has to be escorted out of the store by security.

North Carolina is a much better place to live than Detroit.

It is a common to see a sign in pubs in the UK saying, "Free beer tomorrow."

Think about it.

I once came across a woman who told an it-tech that she brought the internet with her, and then dropped 2 meters of patch cable on the desk...

Also, the reoccurring response to "Is it a color printer?" seems to be "What do you mean? Its gray/black/white."

EDIT: When i still worked at the local auto repair shop some EMT bloke drove his ambulance straight into the workshop screaming "No brakes!" When i asked him why the hell he didn't show up, i dunno, 1000 kilometers earlier when the bloody thing started to perform like sh*t, he responded "They pay me to drive fast, not stop fast."

Free as in... being freed from your stomach?

I'm thinking more like tomorrow never comes.

I sometimes wonder what happened to what people used to call, "thinking ouside the box."
Try to think laterally as well as logically and a phrase such as, "Free beer tomorrow" is not too difficult to grasp.

IBM used to have an aptitude test prior to employment. If you passed then you only had to pass an interview and a job was yours.
They stopped that and employed only graduates. From that day onwards they had problem creators rather than problem solvers.

I left IBM shortly afterwards because the whole problem solving ethic changed beyond belief.

Heaven help us if we need anyone to solve problems like decoding the Enigma machine in another war.

Getting a little OT:

"Free beer tomorrow" means to me that every day is a free beer day. Why? Every day that has happened and will happen will be known as a "tomorrow" at some point in time; i.e., "Today is yesterday's tomorrow". Reminds me of the saying that in various forms has been attributed to different people: "Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."

I'd like to see if that argument gets you a free beer at one of those pubs, lol.

*sneaks back into the shadows*

I've taught school for most of my professional life. When my students ask me why I do what I do (which is quite a bit), I always tell the the same thing. I'm OK with a 15-16 year-old saying or doing something dumb. I can always tell myself that you'll mature and become useful adults. However, when you work with adults on a daily basis, and you see the same behaviors it's pretty depressing!

Henry Ford used to say that "thinking" is the hardest work, otherwise, everyone would do it.

So the loons come out on Friday Nights:
Not long before we closed, a gentleman comes in and starts jabbering. After the 2nd time trough I figure out he has a speech impediment, I ask him to slow down and repeeat what he is trying to tell me.

2 more time through with his story and I finely figure out the following:
He bought a car battery from Tractor Supply (not me).
While driving down the road the car quit and will not restart.
Because it is a new battery, he expects me to stand behind it and give him a new one of our batterys.

So
I start explaining, that #1 Its not MY NEW battery, he needs to take it back to Tractor Supply
#2 Its not a bad battery to begin with, had he purchased OUR battery, we would have tested his charging system and sold him the real problem fix.
#3 He needs an Alternator not a battery.

Thinking he understood all of this was another mistake on my part.......
He then asked if I would give him full purchase credit towards an alternator, back on the Tractor Supply battery.
I then explained that his diagnosis was to blame for his wrong purchase, and that I could not give him credit back for a battery that he did not buy from me in the first place, he finally left grumbling and headed for a local "Discount Store" accross the parking lot from me. About 20 minutes later the cops show up and remove him from that store.

Keep in mind, you cant make this kind of stuff up, it really happens in retail!

Ron

I know the feeling you are talking about.
I work at a Starbucks near a homeless shelter and a Target... and three blocks away from a police station.
The story is always the same when one would come in at 5AM "I didn't do nothing, they just arrested me."

Hah one highlight of my night was when there was this one bum who was super drunk. He grabbed two sandwiches and told us he would pay for them later, which... was an obvious answer that he wouldn't. Anyways we called the cops because he was way too far gone, we had kicked him out various times before. During his say it seems he had lost control of his bladder and let himself whiz on one of our seats.

Some of the scariest people would come to my store in the early mornings... Luckily there hasn't, though we get this guy named "Freddy" who likes to crawl on the ground and stare at our posters.
It is sad how these people come and do this to theirselves but I stopped having a heart from them because eventually most of them would rob a mug... and try to turn it in later.

Well, that's... considerate, I guess

I had worked at a Stop-n-Go in San Antonio, Texas many years ago and it was an evening shift into my first week alone running the register. The lotto jackpot was very high around that time but I had other things on my mind. At a one point I began to get a line and what do you know- the lotto ticket dispenser runs out of ink!

I fiddle with it for a minute then realize there is no way I will be able to get this darned thing to work! It truly was out of my hands so by that point there are ~20 people waiting in line. I ask if anyone is there not to buy lotto tickets.

They were all in line for lotto tickets!



I had been training at another location down the road 2 weeks before I was let loose to the wolves so I called the manager there. He rushed over and got it working but a some difficulty. He even stayed around to help me get the crowd thinned out before some wicked mob mentality ensued

Sayed (managers name) wherever you are thanks again!!!

What the Hell is wrong with people?

So I go into the local "Name Brand" Grocery store between 5:30 and 6pm this evening, get what I need and head to the 12 items are less lane.

In front of me is a woman that is arguing over the price of an item, that because she does not have her MVP card rang up for $4.07 instead of $2.99. After arguing with the cashier for 5 mins, the cashier finally gives up and pages a manager.
We then wait another 5 mins, and she pages the manager again. The whole time the cashier and the woman are arguing over the price.

Taking my Manager training in stride I announce in a firm (somewhat load voice) "STOP IT."
Both of them look at me like I won the lottery.
I ask the cashier "How much is it", but before she can answer the "customer" starts running her mouth again.
In a significantly louder voice I hold up a finger to the customer and say "Hold that thought"
Looking back at the cashier I ask again, "how much is it"
She tells me "$4.07"
I grab a $5.00 bill out of my pocket and hand it to her.
The Cashiers jaw drops, but she takes the bill and cashes the customer out.

Now the customer starts stammering and stuttering and pulls out a wad of cash and attempts to pay me.
I tell her to keep the money and "shu"
The woman behind me in line says something to the effect "I would never pay for somebody else grocery"
My reply to her was "And you would still be standing in line, now wouldn't you?"

Back to my question
What the hell is wrong with people?
Ron

While still at T-Mobile, I had a lady come in who was upset about her bill. It was more than it usually was, by a few dollars. A quick scan showed a late fee from the previous month, as she had paid about a week late.

Our exchange went something like this:
Her: "I don't understand why I have a late charge."
Me: "It's because you paid your bill after the due date."
Her: "But I paid my bill though."
Me: "Yes, but you paid it on the 25th, and it was due by the 18th."
Her: "But I shouldn't get a late charge for that. I paid it on the 25th."
Me: "But it was due by the 18th."
(Repeat these last few lines between us 3-4 more times)

Finally, I told her "Ma'am, if you don't understand why the 18th comes before the 25th, I can't help you."